I hope my critical review is of any help.
First of all i want to say congratulation you for fully equipped (with all necessary features) article.
After reading it carefully I found it informative as well as there are some technical/Philosophical problems in arguments.
1) Argument 1, 2 and 3 are general and are not related with this study (in my point of view) and highly controversial too. What you are trying to establish and destroy merely in a piece of academic work is neither possible nor an academic norm. as your first three arguments discuss Gender/Feminism debates. I want to introduce Postmodernist Feminist Hélène Cixous, Luce Irigaray, and Julia Kristeva . Your arguments have been destroyed academically/philosophically by these authors. So I think (for your first three arguments) this is/should not be your article's domain because you are going to discuss these arguments in a article and there are well established 1st order strong theories against it. I'm sorry I'm not opposing your arguments in details, I have just enlisted authors, please use Wikipedia for simple and quick information.
2) Last three arguments are relevant with Pakistani society and again i'm felling guilty to sat that these arguments too have been destroyed on strong and sound foundations by above mentioned Feminists.
3) Now the question is what I have (knowledge/criticism/appreciation etc) to add in your article ? And my simple answer is perhaps I don't know. I'm not criticizing hare for the sake of solely criticism. All I know is that these arguments are not able to face international academician critic and consequently not publishable.
4) The only hope for me may be your concluding remarks. At the moment I don't know ( personally as well as it was my official responsibility to leave comments on your drafts ) what to do, but may be I think your conclusion's arguments that Pakistani Society is a Muslim and Traditional society so there should be religious/ traditional doctrine in order to resolve the issue. And how should be these arguments managed I don't know as I has been thinking and studying on this problem since 2013 and unfortunately I can't found sound explanations( hare sound means in academics language ) but still I'm hopeful that the task is not impossible one. I wish you Good Luck ( personally ) and looking for a strong argument with sound rationale ( for academicians ).
5) Please correct the numbering in order.
After this I'm slightly confused.. How are you going to manage two opposite and broader Objectives in an article ?
Your 1st arguments will face urgent problems when a European read it and S/he will suddenly say, Hey this not a problem anymore. In modern world you are free to become whatever you want Male/Female and No one also. Biological differences emerges and matters at child bearing stage and now in these days it is not Humans problem Machines like Test Tube can do it effectively.
Your second argument named Vulnerability Argument is not just a myth. it is proved fact though I am agree with you that Men in generally portrayed Culprits of all evil doing specie but you can not ignore real picture of women's vulnerability.
Your third argument deals with Segregation Argument is too general to analyse it with proper evidence.
Your fourth argument is time and space specific and it may not be good to generalize it in any way. For example Pakistani society is being in the process of Modernization and many areas like Islamabad, Lahore and Karachi are example of it. Culture/Religion is not dominant fore in these areas.
Then equity based solution is not justifiable as you have not give rational for it. I think your major focus is on equity argument and unfortunately you did not provide sufficient proofs and did not paid attention towards the argument.
I do hope my comments are not vague.
Author has written well. However, there are just few comments on introduction,Introduction
The pursuit of gender equality since the past four decades remained a core political agenda of liberal states. It has now become widely recognized around the globe and endorsed by numerous organizations and governments as a chief policy point. The pursuit is usually portrayed as prerequisite to social justice and as an indicator of good governance (squires 2007). For this sake various directives have been opted to ensure the women empowerment and equal political representation not only at governmental level but also as a part of feminist gender equality movements. Pakistan like many other nations is signatory treatise on promoting gender equality including United nation conventions on elimination of all forms of discrimination against women (CEDAW 1979) and sustainable development goals SDGS. The core standpoint of gender equality is that men and women shall have equal rights, opportunities obligations and elimination of discriminatory practices. Gender that is defined as social role associated with male and female in a specific time and culture. It differentiates the societal expectations toward both sexes including preferences and nature and extent of aspirations (Khan 2013; Unicef 2005). Here the question that arises is that in pursuit of gender equality the social expectations and aspirations toward both sexes male and female can be of equal or same in nature and extent? In this study my claim is that the notion of gender equality is inherently biased and practically not implacable in any society to its fullest including Pakistan.
1) In opening sentence author has written liberal States but did not mention the name of any liberal states.
2) After quoting three studies, she immediately writes " Here the question that arises is that in pursuit of gender equality the social expectations and aspirations toward both sexes male and female can be of equal or same in nature and extent? In this study my claim is that the notion of gender equality is inherently biased and practically not implacable in any society to its fullest including Pakistan". there should be one or two sentences in the background of this question.
1. Being a reviewer, I found that your introduction is lacking to introduce the problem as general.
2. i assume, author's claim is slightly different from the statements that she highlight at start.
3. Objectives of the study are different from each other when it comes to introduce the problem and matter.
4. as author's mentioned in topic, moral at stake. my question is: in detailed outline, i could not see the evidence regarding this claim.
5. conclusion is much interesting and no doubt grasp the attention of reader and helpful to comprehend the problem.
6. uniforming in reference style is missing.
overall, it was wonderful essay and author's did great attempt. Good Luck!!!!
The writer seems to be biased from very first sentence as mention gender equality as political agenda..
In paragraph that mention gender equality is cyclical.. there are some grammatical and sentence structuring mistakes.. moreover, i think the writer want to write autonomy instead of autonym..
What does it mean by shifting towards men's bias?? In this paragraph there is a need of more explanation to reflect the embedded meaning..
Likewise, explain what are the vulnerable conditions of men??
The writer use some difficult synonyms that indulge reader in the state of confusion..
As a example it would be better to Explain some indigenous cultural morals that are on stake due to the gender equality slogan..
Thank you for sharing an insightful article on gender equality and highlighting the issue with strong arguments and claims. You made a great start of the article as I really enjoyed reading the introduction. It appears comprehensive covering necessary elements of the essay. However, in some areas sentences were structured in a way that hindered the understanding. For instance, in sixth sentence where definition of gender is given seems to be incomplete. You started with “gender that is defined as…”, that means there is continuity of the sentence stating something about gender and not merely definition. Secondly, you made good use of vocabulary making it a scholarly article. You have made use of strong evidences in support of the arguments. Lastly, you must proofread this article as it contains number of grammatical and spelling mistakes with some areas lacking proper punctuations and articles. Proofreading an article before presenting should be the key exercise for the scholar.
Overall, it is a great effort.
Thank you for adding to my knowledge
Thank you muniba, i do agree with you on point that female shall not be considered inferior and they have more strength neither i claimed so in my article. The example of child birth and labor pain you provided in actual support the point that there are certain inbuilt differences in biology and nature of male and female that make the concept of gender equality lesser attainable . in you second remark about paternal leaves as pointer of equality your focus is on incentives but you ignore the varying potentialities of male and female as child bearing itself is a role that is based on natural capability of female. if the potential and capacity of male and female vary how the expected role and opportunities could be same.muniba.bukhari wrote: ↑Sat May 11, 2019 5:58 amThe topic really attract the attention but this is not necessary that if we talk about women's equality it'll be a threat to the culture. Further, I've a question that if biological differences prevail between both sexes than women should be considered stronger than men as giving birth to a child isn't easy and as far as i know many "MALES" tried to take the Labour pain and failed to bear that pain so the point is that okay we accept that biological differences are there than why they are supposed to be a WEAKER sex?
As far as the health of a female is concerned, many countries gave paternal leaves also, just as a sign of equality that child birth isn't something that must be the responsibility of a mother, the father should also take part in look after of the child and automatically participating in take care of mother as well. Equality of sexes doesn't mean to hurt the sentiments of only a sex for just being a female which is not by choice rather it means to help each other wherever needed .